Pugai(yum) padam

My co-blogger ( is that a correct word??) had written an interesting post on Forget and Forgive. I hope all you " guys" out there are doing fit & fine after most of your gf/wife agreed to what Preetzz wrote :-).

Observing people around me is one of my favorite activity to pass time when using public commute. The thousands you walk past every day in a busy city like NYC initiated this hobby into me. You can see people from different walks of life and observe different cultures from their dresses.

A recent conversation with a friend (Mr.X) told me as to how he discusses his friend's relationships with his spouse post their meeting.

Another day when I was home and browsing, I was too bored to read or watch some video on the web. I started clearing my old emails. I got a crazy idea.

I went through all the photos shared by my friends in a row. I couldn't help hear Mr. X's words playing through my mind all along.

A picture paints a thousand words. Every single photo told volumes about the person and his/her partnert. I could observe the information they were sharing in the different "moments" of their lives.

There was one guy who was always hugging his wife. Well, its normal for married couples to hug in pictures. But the interesting part was, he was hugging her with both his arms around her. His wife would stand next to him arms on her side and he would have both his hands around her with his palms knotted. It felt as though he was loudly but clearly telling the world his insecurity in the relationship. It looked as though he was announcing to the world that the girl belonged to him and also his way of holding her showed signs his fear of losing her.

There was another guy who would always stand right next to his wife in all pictures, most of the time dressed well and wearing coolers. But he would never hold hands or hug his wife. He would always stand a foot away from her. It looked as though he has not forgetten his ex and even after 2 yrs of marriage did not have the heart to accept his wife. A simple hug would have done it.

The way the person stands next to their partners and embraces them to capture their moment is a totally private way of their expressions. But when you share your pictures with your friends, you are silently telling them something about your relationship.

You could hold hands in one, mutually hug in an another one or one can hug in one picture, one of you can hold in another one etc etc.. all that jus shows your simple ways of love and how you both paint the picture "perfect". It is always a healthy way to share your pictures to friends and family but when you do, make sure you leave no bread crumbs behind to be cleaned up by them ;-)

"Pugai padathai kanbiyungal.. pugayum padathai alla"


This pic jus shows who goes to the gym more ;-) often.
tata
sukku

Forget and Forgive

This I have noticed is the policy that most of those of the other species follow. Which species is that you are asking. It is the not so rare and very common species called the MALE! They even share common characteristics and there is hardly any difference between each male.

Usually the policy for human beings is forgive and forget. However most of the male species follow a unique approach of Forget and Forgive. What you ask? Well its only well known by the male species, but watch out. We're figuring out your typical traits slowly but surely!

Type 1: Forget and Forgive
There would be an argument. The girl would remember very clearly what happened and would be arguing her point. The guy would say how unreasonable her argument is and say things actually happened another way (Forget part). However I think the forgetting is rather convenient forgetting (used to their advantage). Then the argument goes on for a while, the guy just gets unnecessarily worked up about it.
Then here comes the make forgive part. The girl most of the time being the more sane and mature one decides there's no use continuing the argument and says a typical statement like ok lets change the topic. Then seeing this weak and forgiving moment of the female the male species pounces upon the opportunity to run a guilt trip. Somehow they always make it happen. Then the females for some reason feel bad, even though they know they don't have to and nothing was their fault. Then the males forgive the female out of the "goodness in their heart" and delude themselves thinking they are the better person.

Type 2: Forget and Forgive
I never realised how unreasonable guys can be until my friend told me this story. She was with a guy and then they broke up. It was a mutual split, but they decided to remain friends. She was more enthusiastic about the friendship than he ever was. They continued talking as friends. Then this girl starts seeing another guy. Out of courtesy she tells him she is seeing this other guy. Here's where the "Fun" starts.
The guy conveniently forgets that they have split up and gets very annoyed about her seeing this other guy. She feels bad because afterall, there used to be something between them and she understood he must be a little upset. So she profusely apologizes for something once again that she doesn't have to apologize for. Then the guy once again thinks he is all great and all and forgives the girl. Also out of his great heart he decides to grant her permission to see the new guy. LOL!

Type 3: Forget and Forgive
There are 2 friends. They both talk to each other fairly often. Once again the female is more keen about the friendship than the male, or so it seems. This male suddenly develops a new friendship and the possibility of more with another female. So this female gets ditched virtually. Whenever the female asks him if he wants to be friends he says definitely. When they talk they have great conversations and obviously they both know they make great friends.
But what happens is the male species goes on trying to find more suitable and other females to commit to. So now this female the best friend gets totally ignored. There is an argument about how much ignoring is going on and the male makes excuses time after time and avoids all confrontation. Then suddenly the female says lets draw the line and speak up and try to sort out the issue.
Then the argument continues. The male suddenly gets totally angry at something totally on a tangent to the topic and voila what do you know. The female is saying sorry for something which she does not have to be sorry about. What does the male do? That's right you guessed it. He forgives her for all the misdeeds she has apparently done through saying the friendship is falling apart. Talk about inequality!

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Females speak up and do not put up with this nonsense. No matter how "good" the male is, they are all of the same species. Have a stance for yourself and do not give in, show them and make them realize how much you are worth. You do not need to apologize, they do! Try to teach them the right way around. "Forgive and Forget", which is what the females should be doing. You are worth as much or I would say even more than them.

We and them!

well its like this...

we try to initiate being friendly

they dont respond

we get annoyed or upset and tell them

for which the first time they respond very friendly...

then after tht it continues..

they ignore it..dont answer questions...avoid us

then we yell at them

then they are nice and extra nice to make it up..

then they are odd again!

Who are we and who are them? Well WE know!!!

Introduction

This blog is called Pen Valmikis (Female Valmikis).

Why this name?

Well Valmiki is a very well known sage, son of Varunan original name Prachetas. He wrote the great epic Ramayana and the Yoga Vasistha. Just like Valmiki we are here to write stories, of our lives and the lives of others around us. We will address all those nitty gritty issues, covering all sorts of areas just as the Ramayana did (friendship, marriage, brotherhood, sisterhood, values, culture, mannerisms, good vs evil etc etc etc). Like the Yoga Vasistha there will also be many sorts of philosophical topics I am sure.

All of us contributing to the blog currently are in different stages of our lives and come from different backgrounds to an extent, therefore whoever reads this blog is assured a variety of topics. We also happen to live in different continents. The one thing we have in common is we are all females, thats what unites us and helps us find the major common ground. By the way this blog is not really going to be religious for sure, that's probably the huge difference between us and Valmiki.

Hope you all enjoy reading our posts. Please do leave your comments. If there are any females out there who would like to contribute feel free to mail us at penvalmikis at gmail dot com. This is a very formal post compared to the rest that are to come surely!

The current contributors are:

• Priya - She also blogs here
• Sukhanya - She also blogs here
• Me